


Your company is all I wanted

by liebrenado



Category: Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, snufkin is a bit feral here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-30 00:40:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18304679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liebrenado/pseuds/liebrenado
Summary: Snufkin was always fine with being on his own. But then he met Moomintroll, and things changed.





	Your company is all I wanted

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this with the 1969 anime adaptation in mind so....Yeah LMAO, i hope thats alright! I just love them and i wanted to write the most "rough" snufkin being ridiculously soft.

Snufkin had always been alone.

This was something he knew for years and years. No mother, no father, no one else who kept him company for a prolonged sense of time. He had nobody - And he was absolutely fine with this.  
Throughout his meager life, Snufkin found that the company of others was far more troublesome than it was beneficial. Others were too loud, too shallow, too much. All he really needed was his travelling pack and his guitar. If he could spend his days fishing all by his lonesome, he'd be fine. In fact, he'd be satisfied. 

There was truly no better company than the sound of the water and the melodic tune of his guitar. He couldn't ask for anything more, and he was fine with this.

Oh, then why? Why did he suddenly had to have thrust upon him the first real friend he's ever had?

Moomintroll was a grey little troll. His small, round ears sat upon his head and twitched curiously whenever he'd hear something far off. His snout was enormous, but round and soft with no edges in sight. He was furred all over, and his tail end had the fluffiest parts of it. He was boisterous and loud, things Snufkin didn't exactly like. The troll had been sheltered all his life, coddled by his parents, and had no real sense of survival like Snufkin did. 

The troll had imposed his presence on Snufkin one day when he was out fishing and playing his guitar. He didn't seem to understand Snufkin's aversion to the interruption, no matter how much the mumrik tried to ignore him. The troll remained by his side, curious and amicable, and it all somehow led to Snufkin having to share his lunch with him.

Since then, Moomintroll never strayed far from Snufkin. It was annoying, it was terrible. But, then, the strangest thing began to happen; Snufkin's ire towards the little troll started to mellow. He couldn't help it, not with the way Moomintroll seemed so eager for his company. He was so willing to do whatever Snufkin asked, and he tried out things he hadn't done before just for him. 

Apparently the troll had never gone fishing before.

"How long does this usually take?" Moomintroll asked, trying to keep the whine from seeping into his voice. Snufkin easily caught it and smiled.

"It can take hours. Perhaps you won't even catch anything at all." Snufkin replied simply before inhaling from his pipe.

Moomintroll's eyes widened briefly before his ears drooped and he let out a great sigh. Snufkin completely expected him to abandon the endeavor and call it a day, but he stayed sitting there by his side for the next few hours. Even more surprising, he kept quiet throughout most of it. It was...nice. Snufkin could almost admit that he liked it, actually.

Neither of them were having any luck that day, it seemed, but Snufkin hardly minded. It was peaceful.

"Ah!" Moomintroll suddenly gasped when he felt a tug to his fishing line. "Oh, oh! I got one! Snufkin!" 

Snufkin blinked in surprise. He watched the troll struggle to pull the fish up onto the shore. It must have been big then, he thought.  
Without so much as a word, Snufkin stood from his spot and walked behind Moomintroll. He reached his paws around him and held part of Moomintroll's fishing pole to help him with the pull. Together, they managed to haul out the bass Moomintroll had caught. The sudden hard pull caused them to fall in a heap together on the grass, complemented by Moomintroll's laughter and cheer.

"Look, Snufkin! We caught it!" Moomintroll said gleefully as he sat up and looked over the bass, amazed. 

Snufkin vaguely realized then that Moomintroll was still resting against him. He could feel the troll's fur tickle his nose and Snufkin's dark paws were terribly close to touching his sides. He thought his heart nearly leaped into his throat when he noticed this.

Gathering his frazzled nerves, Snufkin tore himself away from Moomintroll and stood a little aways from him. Moomintroll looked over at him questioningly, and then he frowned.

"What's wrong?" Moomintroll asked, and - oh no - he sounded so discouraged. As if he'd done something wrong. As if it wasn't Snufkin who got stupid and felt his body crawl with things it hadn't before.

Snufkin felt his tail bristle and he immediately raised his paws to dissuade the direction of Moomintroll's mood. "No, nothing! It's really a lovely catch. I'm quite surprised you managed to catch a bass, in fact."

Moomintroll blinked before grinning. "You think so?"

Snufkin nodded, smiling in return. It came easily to him, and he wasn't sure how to feel about that.

That day they had bass for lunch and Moomintroll's mood was sky high all throughout.

Snufkin found it endearing.  
But, when did he start thinking like that? When did he start associating such a term with Moomintroll? He had never thought so with anybody before, so what made Moomintroll so special?

Perhaps it was because Moomintroll was the first real 'friend' Snufkin had ever made. He wasn't much for company at all, but the troll had somehow managed to worm his way into Snufkin's center. He was kind and jovial; He tried to understand Snufkin, something everybody else had barely attempted, and he listened to him; He was adoring but not too suffocating, taking care to leave Snufkin alone whenever he needed it. 

It scared Snufkin just how right it felt to be by Moomintroll's side. Moomintroll was his first friend - His best friend. And Snufkin was keenly aware of how fond he felt towards said friend. It wasn't like anything he had experienced before. 

Moomintroll wasn't aware, but he was shifting Snufkin's entire existence in a single fell swoop.

"Snufkin?" Moomintroll interrupted.

Snufkin opened his eyes. He had completely lost himself in his guitar playing for who knows how long. He'd nearly forgotten he was sitting in a field of flowers with Moomintroll next to him. The day had been sunny, yet cool, and his friend had come by earlier to ask him for his company. It was such a lovely day, he persuaded. 

Speaking of the troll, he had just called for him. Snufkin turned his snout in his direction and smiled.

"Yes?"

"I made this for you. I don't know if you want to wear it, but it's yours." Moomintroll said shyly, not looking into Snufkin's eyes.

Snufkin looked down at his friend's paws and saw a flower wreath made of pink and white daisies. Snufkin tightened his grip on his guitar slightly as his eyes widened. His heartbeat quickened as he reached over and brushed his fingers against Moomintroll's own to pick up the wreath. His hold was delicate, being careful not to damage the flowers in any way. Moomintroll made it for him, after all.

"Do you like it?"

Snufkin replied by placing the flower wreath over his tattered hat. It was a bit cluttered, with the rope and feather already there, but the wreath itself made a snug fit. Snufkin smiled.

"Thank you."

Moomintroll smiled widely in return and clasped his paws together. He gave out a satisfied hum before he returned to picking more flowers. Snufkin decided to watch him this time around instead of going back to his guitar playing. 

Snufkin had always thought Moomintroll looked soft, but now it seemed vastly different. The mumrik had urges to run his paws over Moomintroll's fur every now and again, and there were moments where he couldn't control it. He'd find any valid excuse to touch his friend, whether it'd be to guide him somewhere, or to help him, or to soothe him. Moomintroll never minded and never questioned. Snufkin hoped he'd been subtle, but sometimes he wasn't so sure.

He observed Moomintroll's large paws deftly weave together another wreathe. Snufkin had an idea.

"Do you think I could make one?" Snufkin asked abruptly.

Moomintroll's ears stood upright as he turned his snout to look at Snufkin in surprise. He quickly broke out into a grin, however, and Snufkin tried to swallow his heart.

"Of course! Have you made any before?"

"No. Would you show me?"

"Oh, yes! It'd be no trouble at all!"

Moomintroll gathered a few colorful flowers and handed them over to Snufkin. He took all of them easily. Moomintroll began to explain the process and Snufkin followed him as best he could. There was a point where Moomintroll reached his paws over and gently touched Snufkin's, guiding them in the appropriate manner of weaving a wreath. 

Snufkin tried to suppress his excited smile. It was exactly what he wanted out of his request.  
By the end of it, Moomintroll had a matching flower crown to go with Snufkin's, even if it was a little crudely made.

Snufkin knew. He knew there was more going on beneath the surface of his feelings for his dear friend. They ran deep, awfully deep, and Snufkin barely understood any of it. It was new, so very new, and it made his tail bristle and his stomach twist. He wasn't sure if he hated it or not. Maybe he did, at least a little bit. But he was mostly confused, and curious, and thrilled. Even so, Snufkin kept it all to himself. He saw no point in bombarding the troll with things he himself couldn't explain. Moomintroll probably wouldn't like it.

Why would he?

Even if Snufkin had mellowed down considerably due to Moomintroll's company, he was still all sharp edges and claws and teeth. It would seep out occasionally in his voice and his body language. No matter how much Moomintroll may have, dare he say it, softened him, his nature was still very much present. And his nature was to survive through any means necessary.

Whenever Moomintroll would get hurt by somebody, anybody, Snufkin was overwhelmed with the urge to pounce on the assailant. He could feel himself baring his fangs and a growl erupting from his throat; His tail trashed wildly and his claws felt sharper, and all he wanted to do was rake them across someone to draw blood. 

As if that'd help Moomintroll, as if that'd be something he'd want.

He'd nearly done it to Moomintroll's own father once. He wasn't thinking at the time, all he could see was red when he figured out the older troll would hurt Moomintroll as means of punishment. It was a miracle that all Snufkin managed to do was hiss and spit at the older moomin, really.  
Moomintroll had gripped at his sleeve and had begged him to calm down. And he did, somewhat. Snufkin ran out of the house before he could do anything else, and secluded himself in his tent for the rest of the day. His eyes burned something fierce and he felt sick to his stomach. 

Moomintroll visited him the very next day. Surprising, since Snufkin thought he'd never want to see him again. Or at the very least, his father would have forbidden him to do so. But there he was, standing outside Snufkin's tent and calling for him.

It took coaxing, but Snufkin eventually came out of his tent to confront Moomintroll. His eyes were pink and puffy, likely from crying. Snufkin felt a hundred times worse than he already did.  
Snufkin's head hung low, the brim of his hat obscuring most of his expression. Moomintroll looked at him with desperation, as if begging for something.

"Snufkin, please, forgive me," Moomintroll began, voice trembling the slightest bit. "I hadn't meant to drag you into that. Please, I'm sorry."

Snufkin thought his stomach truly dropped right then and there. He raised his head in a snap, eyes wide, before his snout crinkled and his eyebrows pinched together irritably.

"Don't you dare apologize," Snufkin said, trying not to raise his voice; Moomintroll was the last person he wanted to direct his anger at. "You didn't do anything. I was the one who nearly attacked your father!"

Moomintroll reached over for Snufkin then, as if he wasn't bristling, as if he wasn't nearly baring his fangs again, and took one of his dark paws into his own grey one. He squeezed at it, affectionate and forgiving, and looked up at Snufkin with something he couldn't really describe.

"It's ok. I know you were just trying to protect me. I appreciate it, Snufkin, really. But you got so...Angry. I'm not sure I'd ever seen you like that before."

Snufkin suddenly deflated, his tail dropping with a muffled thump against the grass. He quietly stared down at their joint paws and his throat felt itchy. His vision began to blur, and he was filled once more with regret, regret, regret.

"I'm sorry." Snufkin muttered with great difficulty. The words were foreign on his tongue, but he needed Moomintroll to hear it. 

"It's alright." Moomintroll soothed.

"I'm sorry." Snufkin repeated, and his voice cracked embarrassingly so. He had never cried in front of Moomintroll before. He inwardly begged his body to cooperate with him, not wanting anyone to see him in such a state. It didn't work, if Moomintroll raising a paw to catch a stray tear that had fallen down Snufkin's cheek was anything to go by.

Snufkin inhaled sharply and tried not to stutter. Moomintroll just smiled a sad, small thing.

Before Snufkin could even think to protest, Moomintroll enveloped him in his arms. The hug was definitely new, for Snufkin had never hugged anyone before. He'd seen it, of course, but he never thought of doing it. He had nobody for that. Not until now, that is.  
The embrace was secure, comforting, and something inside Snufkin snapped like a feeble twig. He practically melted into Moomintroll's arms, relief and guilt washing over him. He didn't sob, he hardly sniffled, but he returned Moomintroll's hug with all his might. He breathed and took him in: his presence, his soft fur, the slight hum deep in his throat, the squeeze from his arms... Finally, Snufkin realized that Moomintroll truly forgave him.

"It's ok," Moomintroll said as he rubbed Snufkin's back with one paw. "Pappa calmed down. He's not angry with you, nor I."

Snufkin simply nodded against Moomintroll's shoulder. They held each other for what seemed like hours, before they pulled apart enough to look at one another. Moomintroll smiled, and Snufkin returned it easily. Snufkin didn't think his heart could grow any bigger that moment.

Things returned to their usual pace afterwards. Calm and lazy days came, and Snufkin and Moomintroll were hardly ever apart.

Snufkin closed his eyes, content, as he laid on the grass with his prized guitar by his side. Moomintroll sat on his other side. He was making another flower wreath that day, but his process was slow as he continued to stare out at the valley and breathe in the fresh air. There was no hurry, for Snufkin simply relished in his company. He could have stayed like that for hours on end if allowed.

"Snufkin," Moomintroll said with a voice so soft, it was almost as if he was brushing a feather against Snufkin's cheek. "Could you play me a tune, please? I think it'd be perfect for today."

Snufkin gave a small grunt as he sat up and pulled his guitar onto his lap. He turned his gaze to Moomintroll, smiling. "Of course. Anything for you, dove."

And, oh. Oh, Moomintroll's dark eyes widened right then. In a split second Snufkin realized exactly what just came out of his mouth. The fur on his neck stood on end and he felt heat immediately rush to his face. How could he have let that slip! What a foolish thing to do! He berated himself inwardly as he tore his gaze away from Moomintroll and fidgeted with the strings of his guitar.

"Dove? But I don't look anything like one." Moomintroll said despite Snufkin's obvious internal turmoil.

"It's just a nickname..." Snufkin coughed, pulling the brim of his hat over his eyes in order to hide his embarrassment. He didn't see but he could hear Moomintroll giggling underneath his breath.

"I know. I was just wondering why do you think that fits me." Moomintroll rectified. 

Snufkin hummed in thought as he strummed his guitar with no particular tune in mind.  
Well, he was already neck deep in the situation, why not dive for it? Snufkin was hardly ever scared of anything, but he could, perhaps, admit that this made his limbs tremble and his chest feel much too light.

"Maybe you don't look like one," Snufkin began slowly as if he was still thinking the words over. "But you bring me better days. For that, I am grateful."

Moomintroll didn't immediately respond. The silence stretched between them for a few moments and all Snufkin could really hear was his rapid heartbeat in his ears. Anxiety clutched at him, and just when he was about to apologize for whatever reason, Moomintroll moved.

He moved until he was pressed right to Snufkin's side. The warmth radiating from him startled Snufkin. He felt an affectionate arm wrap itself around his back, pulling him close. Moomintroll leaned his head on Snufkin's shoulder, and Snufkin didn't dare say speak. His breath was trapped in his throat, his tail twitched and turned.

"You've made my days brighter as well, Snufkin. I can't imagine life being the same without you." Moomintroll eventually said, sappy and sweet. His words were tremendous and they pierced Snufkin's center as if it was absolutely nothing. 

They stayed like that for a full minute, before Moomintroll pulled away. Snufkin felt as if something precious was being taken from him, but he pushed down the urge to reach out. Not yet, not yet.

Moomintroll smiled that beautiful smile towards him, before it twitched down to a horrible, little frown.

"Oh, I'm sorry. That was too much, wasn't it? I didn't mean it. W - well! I mean, I did, but." Moomintroll's voice grew more panicked as he went on, his grey snout turning a shade of dusky pink and his tail fluffing up ridiculously so.  
Snufkin just stared at him, dumbfounded, before he finally blinked back into focus. Without thinking, he grabbed Moomintroll's paw and squeezed, careful with his own claws.

"No! No, no, dove, you're fine," Snufkin reassured quickly, excitement filtering through his voice; Any other time he'd feel downright mortified, but now wasn't it. "More than fine really." 

Snufkin raised his other paw and placed it gently against Moomintroll's cheek, long having abandoned his guitar to the side. Moomintroll has quieted down at his point, but his gaze was fixed on Snufkin. The lovely shade of pink never left his snout, and Snufkin knew his own face was also flushed. 

"You are so very dear to me, Moomintroll. Please know that." He whispered as if it was a secret between them, and it might as well been. He leaned in afterwards to lightly brush snouts with Moomintroll. It was barely anything, but Snufkin thought he could burst.

He saw his best friend's eyes widened for a second before he was suddenly invaded by gray fur.  
Moomintroll practically clung to Snufkin's front as he rubbed his snout against his cheek and neck, causing the mumrik to make a strange noise of alarm. It quickly turned into laughter, however, as Snufkin returned the embrace and held Moomintroll tightly against himself. 

"I love you, Snufkin. I do." Moomintroll confessed, voice muffled as his snout was pressed rightly against Snufkin's shoulder.

Snufkin might as well have fallen off the face of the earth, with the way his heart leaped out his chest and left him for a full three seconds.

"I..." Snufkin stuttered, breathless. His grip on the troll didn't lessen, but he wasn't sure if he could say those words at all. But maybe, for Moomintroll, he could at least try. "I...love you too."

Moomintroll giggled and rested comfortably against Snufkin without another word. Snufkin smiled the widest smile he's felt he's ever done. He ran his loving paws over Moomintroll's grey fur, he felt arms squeeze around his frame, and it all seemed so perfectly right. The day continued on as if nothing had happened, but for Moomintroll and Snufkin, it was as if their worlds had changed.

"Oh no, we've trampled the flower wreath!"

They laughed the rest of their day away.

Snufkin had always been alone, and he'd never had a problem with this. He liked his solitude and his privacy. But with Moomintroll, it never felt like an invasion of space. With Moomintroll, everything felt as it should be.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! I think this is my longest completed fic so far so yay!!


End file.
